Writing without worrying: the burn bowl
I was talking with one of my students the other day, and he brought up a really common concern:
I’d like to start writing, but I’m worried that someone else will read it.
I get it.
Oh, do I ever get it.
When I was about 15, I was visiting a friend on a film set, and staying with her for a few days. This friend had a guardian who was taking care of her, since her parents had real jobs and couldn’t always travel with her on set.
I really didn’t like this guardian. She was probably all of 22 years old — but even at 15 I found her to be impulsive and irresponsible and I wrote that in my journal. After I had gone home, I realized the guardian had found my journal, read the part where I wrote about her and SHE wrote in my journal that I was a bitch.
So. Um. Yeah, I have some worries about private writing staying private.
(Also, I was totally right about that guardan. Just saying.)
My point is that we all have the right to write and have it stay just for us. We have the right to scribble things that are dramatic and extreme and maybe downright untrue, in the course of trying to process difficult emotions. And it feels really shitty to think about someone else reading that out of context.
So let me introduce you to the Burn Bowl.
This is just a basic metal mixing bowl that I use to safely burn my writing. I love of the flourish of it. The ritual. There is something about watching something burn and turn to ash that is very therapeutic. At the end of every retreat I lead, we have a burning ceremony. It just feels good.
I also love burning letters that don’t need to be sent. It’s a wonderful way to write to people who have passed on, or to watch past regrets or long-held grudges go up in smoke. Anything you are trying to move on from can benefit from a burn.
(Burning not your thing? Pick your favorite mode of destruction. Shred, flush, burry. Just get rid of it and notice the lightness that comes with that.)
You are allowed to let go of what is no longer serving you. You are allowed to put it on the page and release it. You are allowed to burn that shit down and move forward into the beauty of your life.