Too busy? Here’s how to reframe your time
It pretty much always goes like this:
"How are you?"
"BUSY."
Ah, yes. We're busy. We're all so very busy. We have so much going on. Things are CRAZY. They’ll settle down. But yeah. Super busy.
Not even a worldwide pandemic could slow us down.
I understand that life gets hectic. Juggling jobs and kids and pets and Crossfit. Yard work and jury duty. Our parents need medical procedures and our laundry gets left in the washer too long.
We all have stuff.
But somehow, being "busy" seems to have become a point of pride in our culture. Like, "I am a very important person because I only have time to sleep for five hours a night."
That doesn't make you important. You know what that makes you? A victim of advanced interrogation techniques.
I just started this Blue Mala business. I teach yoga and meditation classes, mindfulness workshops, I write, I run social media, I have a husband and a dog and a Peloton bike and apparently I need to feed myself from time to time.
I understand busy.
But generally, I really try to be not too busy. I say no to things that spread me too thin and require me to multi-task — because multi-tasking just means I do several things badly. But I've recently fallen into that trap that I hate - sighing and saying I'm SO BUSY. And I’ve started to notice it has the slimy aftertaste of a humble-brag.
I don't want to get caught up in my own busyness. I don't think that any of it defines me, or somehow makes my life more worthy.
But sometimes our compulsion to be productive isn’t as simple as a strong work ethic, it’s actually a feeling of needing to earn our place in the world. Look how important I am because of all the work I got done. Look how busy I am, I must MATTER. I deserve to be here because of how much I do.
Just so you know: you are worthy, regardless of what you accomplish today.
Why do we feel the need to fill every second of the day with stuff? Is it so we can feel we are important to the world? Like we need to earn some badge of worthiness, by checking off endless to-do lists? Is it just the classic FOMO? If we step back, can we see that at least some of this busyness is self-imposed? We really can sit and read a book sometimes. The world will keep spinning all by itself. You can take a break. You can take a breath. You can rest.
I'd offer this: relaxing isn't lazy when it's planned.
We require time to relax and play and we need to schedule it just as we schedule everything else. Stillness is important. Reading the Pottery Barn catalog in the bathtub is important. Sitting on the porch and talking about why there are so many caterpillars this year - is important. Saying no to the thing that is going to overfill our plate - that is really important.
In yoga, there is a concept called abhyasa / vairagya - often translated as effort and ease. They represent the two essential aspects of spiritual life because you can’t have one without the other. Rest is essential. It’s not selfish or lazy. It’s a requirement for a balance in work, home, relationships, creativity, even in our yoga practice. It’s why we take a Savasana, a resting pose, at the end of a yoga class. We need to be able to rejuvenate for the next step. Without those moments of ease, we burn out.
When we can create some space, we can actually be awake for our lives. We can be better for everything and everyone that we love.