Writing things down is an effective way to process emotions and understand where you might be getting stuck. I don’t care if you are a terrible writer, if your handwriting is illegible and your grammar is questionable. If you find yourself writing below your standards, lower your standards. No one else ever needs to read what you write. Set a timer for five, ten, twenty minutes — whatever feels reasonable, and free write with zero judgment.

Writing prompt:

• If you are a chronic apologizer, what are your go-to apologies? Write those down. Next to them, how could you shift them to expressing gratitude to the person you are speaking with? How does it feel to make that shift? If it feels cheesy, that’s okay. Write about why it feels cheesy.

• Then consider how it might feel to be on the other side of this conversation, receiving gratitude, instead of an apology.

• What messages did you get as a kid about apologizing? Was it a weakness? The only way to protect yourself and get out of a conflict safely? Looking at the roots of chronic apologizing can help us understand why it’s a go-to reaction.

This writing prompt originally appeared with the article entitled I’m sorry I apologized.

About this Photo
We took this photo while touring the Renwick Gallery in Washington, DC in 2018. The Start/Stop Sign was part of an exhibit entitled, “No Spectators: The Art of Burning Man.”