Nutrition and mood: the 80% rule
If 80% of the time I am eating in a way that I know helps my body and mind work optimally: awesome. The other 20% of the time is reserved for pecan pie.
A while ago, I realized that processed sugar made my anxiety worse. I read all the research and I observed the impact sugar had on my mood and I very reluctantly decided to stop eating it. That was not at all easy. But I felt better without it and so it worked well for me.
And then there was this global pandemic.
My thought process shifted and became something like - I’m going to have this third piece of chocolate because there is a global pandemic and many of my other joys have been ripped from me but at least I can have this goddamn sugar rush.
And that is fine. I am not beating myself up about that.
Somehow, I managed to grow up in Hollywood and not get an eating disorder. I’m not sure how that happened, it’s kind of like being the only house standing in a town when a tornado blew through and destroyed everything else. This is not to say I came out unscathed: I’m an insecure perfectionist with a panic disorder and social anxiety — but I’ll happily eat carrot sticks or chocolate croissants and neither choice changes the way I feel about myself.
So, after all my deep, important sugar revelations in my last book, I’m eating sugar again. For now, anyway. I’ll reassess later.
Many of us feel like they have kinda gone off the rails with their food choices lately, and many want to make a change. But finding the willpower to do so is proving to be challenging. Willpower is the ability to avoid short-term temptations for the good of a long-term goal. This doesn’t play very well with this whole “be present” thing I keep promoting. Because who knows if later will even exist? We could all die of COVID, so better eat the pecan pie now.
The problem with willpower is that it’s like a muscle. If you don’t use it much, it won’t be strong, and if you use it too much, it’ll fatigue. One of my students lost an impressive 35 pounds leading up to his wedding. That was his goal, and it worked. And then he gained it all right back again. That’s typical for really restrictive diets - our willpower gets exhausted and we rebel and eat garbage.
I try to work with the 80/20 rule.
If 80% of the time I am eating in a way that I know helps my body and mind work optimally: awesome. I win. The other 20% of the time is reserved for the pecan pie.
But the pecan pie times need to happen guilt-free.
That is scheduled rebellious time. It’s the correct thing to do. Because if I go down the shame spiral, marinating in self-criticism and self-loathing, what will I want to do? Eat more to comfort myself. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Consider mindful eating.
Every time you open the fridge or the cupboard and reach for something - take three deep breaths. Do you still want the thing? Cool. Eat it. And actually enjoy the eating of it. Chew slowly. Focus on the present moment experience of eating.
But if you reach for the thing and you realize you were actually just bored/sad/frustrated/lonely and not actually needing nourishment in the form of food — cool. Don’t eat it. Walk away from the kitchen and deal with your feelings. Maybe try this or this or this.
Think about the foods that make you feel good thirty minutes after you eat them. They are more important than the foods that taste enjoyable for the thirty seconds when you are actually eating them. Make a decision that future you will be grateful for.
We make something like two hundred food decisions daily. So let’s try to be mindful of at least a quarter of them.
Let’s actually nourish ourselves.
For more on anxiety and intuitive eating, check out this podcast episode with holistic nutrition coach Cecily Armstrong.
