3 ways to deal with depression right now
Here’s the good news: you are not alone if you are struggling with depression, and more people than ever are reaching out for help.
Something important: a website can not diagnose or treat your depression. If you are worried about your mental health, please contact a medical professional. If you are considering harming yourself or others, call 9-1-1.
Since I was about eighteen, I have struggled with occasional depression. It is unfathomably awful. I’ve laid on the floor of my closet, seeing no way forward in my life. I was certain that there was no hope for me, and it was always going to feel this empty, this pointless, this joyless.
But I was wrong.
For many of us, depression is on the rise. Even before we were hit with a worldwide pandemic, the rates of mental illness among adults was increasing, and the mental health of our young people was worsening. It surprises no one to learn that it’s getting much worse in our current environment.*
Here’s the good news: you are not alone if you are struggling with depression, and more people than ever are reaching out for help.
There are many kinds of depression: Situational depression, Major depression, Bipolar depression, Depressive psychosis, Perinatal depression, Premenstrual dysphoric disorder, Seasonal depression. Obviously, I have no business diagnosing you, but a medical professional can.
The go-to treatments for all types of depression are psychotherapy and medications. Both of these can be wonderful and I have seen them literally save the lives of my friends. Personally, I have found Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to be very beneficial. (It’s a way of noticing unhelpful mental patterns, and learning better ways of coping.)
While medication was an option for me, I have found other ways to manage my depression without them. But that’s just me. You get to choose your path. We need to ditch the stigma attached to any form of treatment - I just need to do everything you can to stay alive.
I get frustrated because sometimes therapy and meds are the ONLY things that are suggested. And if those don’t happen to work for you - it seems like you’re out of luck. But there are so many things that have helped me when I’ve felt stuck in a dark place.
Here are three mindfulness-based techniques for depression that have helped me. They are free and available to you whenever you need them.
BREATHE: Pranayama
I love equal ratio breathing, because when I’m miserable, I don’t breathe well. Sit up tall, away from the back of the chair or couch, if you can. Close your eyes, if that is comfortable. See if you can slow down your breath, and deepen it. Then count the length of your inhale, maybe it’s a count of four or five, and then exhale for that same count. Keep the inhale and the exhale the same length. This is a 1:1 equal ratio breath. See if you can breathe this way for a few rounds, maybe getting up to a few minutes. When you’re done, take a moment to notice how you feel.
Deep breathing is not going to fix everything, but doing this kind of breathing exercise on a regular basis can help activate your parasympathetic nervous system and help you focus the mind away from the Doom Spiral. I like to start my morning with some breathing exercises, and then do them a few times during the day whenever I’m feeling low. Here’s a one minute video that shows you how to do it.
MOVE: Walking meditation.
Meditation can be fantastic, but sometimes just sitting there alone with your thoughts can be just too much to handle, especially for folks with trauma. Enter walking meditation. You can walk outside or inside. You can walk in a straight line or in circles around your kitchen table. It doesn’t matter where you walk, it matters how you walk. Slowly. With intention. One foot in front of the other. This is all about present moment awareness. Not past, not future. Just this right here.
Bring all your attention to your right foot, picking it up, moving it forward, putting it down, then switch to the left. Feel the air moving past your face, feel the weight shifting from one side to the other, the way your arms move. Notice the birds in the tree, the mounds of dog hair under the couch, the way your shoulders are up around your ears and how it might feel better if you dropped them down. Set a timer for two minutes, five, ten, twenty, whatever feels right. And whenever the mind wanders - which it will because that is what the human mind does - just come back to noticing those feet.
WRITE: RAIN
When you feel yourself getting locked in ruminating on depressive thoughts, try working with RAIN. (Thinking through this process can be really helpful, but I find it’s even more beneficial when I can write it down.)
Recognize when a strong or upsetting emotion is present. (I’m feeling really depressed/angry/lonely today)
Accept the emotion non-judgmentally. (OK. This happens sometimes. It’s really hard being a human, this is understandable. It’s not my fault. I’m not broken.)
Investigate the feelings, thoughts, and sensations you are experiencing. (What does the depression feel like today? Is my body aching? Am I obsessing about something I can’t control?)
Nonidentification with the emotions - shifting to simply observing this moment. (This does not define me. This is not my permanent state of being forever. I will get through this, like I’ve gotten through painful things before.)
JUST ONE MORE THING
Find something that you can accomplish. Anything. Keep it simple. Take a shower. Text a friend to say hi. Pick up the clothes on the closet floor and put them away. Take those baby steps to remind yourself that you can do it, and you can build on that.
These are examples of just a few things to try, but there are many more things to explore.
There are no quick fixes here, because depression is brutal.
But there is a way through, for everyone. There is a path forward. It won’t always feel like this.
