What to do when you can’t sleep
We worry, we scroll, we obsess.
What we don’t do is sleep.
Nights are hard.
During the day there is a lot that can distract us and keep the monkey mind occupied. We’ve got work and family and Netflix and we have to figure out what to do with the cauliflower that is starting to smell weird in the back of the fridge.
But then it gets dark outside and it gets dark inside our minds. We know we’re supposed to go to bed. We know about self-care and restoration and all that. We know.
But we can’t sleep. We worry, we scroll, we obsess.
We wonder if maybe our whole life is just one gigantic failure and we list the dozens of people who we think might be mad at us.
I know. It’s rough.
Here are some of my favorite tools for when I’m lying in bed and my mind won’t stop spinning.
Body Scan
I have guided meditations on the free app Insight Timer and this Body Scan is really helpful for getting to sleep. (You can access all of my Insight Timer meditations online here as well.) This meditation starts with the toes and we focus on one part of the body at a time. It can help calm the mind and prepare for resting. I often hear people say they don’t get past the knees before they fall asleep.
Yoga Nidra
Yoga Nidra is not the kind of yoga in which you move your body around, it actually means “yogic sleep.” It’s another form of guided meditation and I love Jennifer Piercy’s offerings on Insight Timer. Again, you can do the free app or listen to her recordings here.
Extended Exhale Breathing
This one is pretty clear: you exhale for an extended time. If you can, aim to exhale for twice as long as your inhale. So if you are inhaling for a count of four, exhale for a count of eight. Or you can do three and six, if that feels better. Don’t get too worked up about the numbers, just see if you can get that exhale a little bit longer than the inhale. When the mind wanders, bring it back. Here’s a video to walk you through it.
Yoga for Insomnia
If you are in bed for more than 20 minutes, awake and flopping around like a dying fish — get out of bed. This feels counter-intuitive because we want to go to sleep, and that is even more challenging if we are not lying down. But getting out of bed and doing a little yoga can help the transition to sleep.
The deep breathing and the stretching of muscles will help tell the mind and body that you are safe, you can go into rest mode and don’t need to prepare for fight or flight.
My yoga for insomnia video is just ten minutes, and it can even be done laying in your bed if that works better for you.
When all else fails, remember that resting in bed is better than nothing. You get some credit for lying there and breathing in and out.
You can try again tomorrow night.
Sleep tight, loves.
