When things fall apart: Creating a Wellness Recovery Action Plan
When we are having a hard time, it’s nearly impossible to remember what could help us to feel any better.
So let’s make a plan.
I recently went through a bout of depression. Everything felt miserable. I was overcome with fear, sadness, and uncertainty about my life. It felt like nothing was ever going to get better and I was doomed for all time. This was just who I was now: this melancholic pile of exhaustion who was destined for nothing but failure and loneliness.
Yeah. It was bad.
The good news is that I’ve been there before. (That doesn’t sound like good news.) But it actually IS good news because I knew the way out. I knew it would take some time and some effort, but somewhere deep down I suspected that I would not be in this depressed place for eternity.
So I did something that most people would not recommend when trying to feel better - I reached for my phone.
I went back to the concept of a Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP). For many of us, when we are having a hard time, it’s nearly impossible to remember what it is that could help us to feel any better.
On my phone, I have a note called WRAP. That’s where I write all the things that I know can help me to feel better. This is a curated list, personalized for me, with ideas big and small that can help pull me from the depths of awfulness.
It has stuff like:
take a walk with the dog
text a friend
set an appointment with my therapist
eat some real food
help someone else and get out of my damn head
When I find a quote that inspires me or a book that feels helpful, I add that in. I also have links to my favorite breathing exercise, meditation, and video on how to walk back a panic attack.
None of these things on their own are going to cure depression — let me be clear on that. Sometimes we need medical professionals, medication, etc. But it is empowering to have an action plan full of small ideas that I can control and do on my own, even if it’s 3 AM on a Sunday. It reminds me that taking the tiniest of steps forward can pull me out of the muck.
Of course, this list doesn’t have to be on your phone, you can go analog and put it in a binder or journal. You can make it as elaborate and pretty as you like. I just prefer to have the plan easily accessible at all times, because when I get in this mood, I feel like IT’S WAY TOO HARD to go get my notebook if it is more than five feet away.
So grab that phone (you know you’re already holding it) and make a list of what helps. Include whatever feels beneficial for you, nothing is too small or too silly. Maybe it’s about 90s dance anthems, cat memes, or washing your hair. Maybe it’s about taking a nap, watching a dinosaur movie, or getting on your bike. List anything and everything that might bring you just a flicker of joy and connection.
The WRAP can be much more extensive than the simple way that I use it, with details on a daily plan, identifying stressors, warning signs, a crisis plan, and a post-crisis plan. You can learn more about that here.
We are living in a world that is full of significant challenges. We can’t always fix everything. But we can support ourselves through the difficult times so we can slowly start to come back to who we really are.
I know your brain might be telling you it’s all hopeless and nothing works and this is all stupid. But guess what?
Your brain lies.
You really will get through this. You really will be okay.
Something important: a website can not diagnose or treat your depression. If you are worried about your mental health, please contact a medical professional. If you are considering harming yourself or others, call 9-1-1.